You Don't Drive too Bad

I've had to revisit one of my major adolescent
trauma's since our arrival in Perth.
That being resitting my practical driver's
licence assessment. Yes, South African
licence's are not worth the much here. Worth
bugger all in fact.

Who knows why - 3 years
ago one could simply do the theory test and
convert to a West Australian licence.
But then who knows if word got out that people
in Gugs were buying their licences using Black
Label or something.


When I did mine ... ahem .... 2o years' ago, as I
mentioned, it was not easy for moi. Driving lessons were dreaded by those who took me for them. Including my sister in her mini cooper(who used to charge me R2 - still had the blue notes then - per lesson) and who I used to end up screaming at "Stop telling me what to do!!!"...forgetting that that was the whole point of the exercise.

The first time I went to do my driver's, I almost turned up three lanes of
oncoming traffic in the centre of Cape Town
and so that exam lasted about 2 minutes before
being ordered back to the depot by the traffic
cop sitting nervously in the passenger seat.

2nd time, my dear mother had bought me my
beloved Beetle (if THAT car could've talked!)
and I failed because I had some trouble doing
hillstarts. Think I gave the poor guy
whiplash. He gave me about 20 tries but it all
ended in vain.

On the 3rd time I finally passed. "You don't
drive too bad," the cop said. "You don't drive
too good, but you don't drive too bad."
So imagine the humiliation last week when I
actually failed my assessment here in Perth.
Reason? I didn't check my blindspots. Well,
damn lucky there's been nothing in those
blindspots in the last 20 years, hey?

So this morning in the pouring rain in rush
hour traffic, I resat the exam. And thanks to
the sweet man who took me today....I HAVE MY
LICENCE!!!!!

None so relieved as my dear husband who had to
live through the tears and tantrums (and
really bad language) that comes with NOT
passing.

And all this at 8.5 months pregnant!! Just as well we don't need a licence to have a baby....
Shooe.

Daylight Saving Ends

The clocks here in Western Australia go back an hour at 2am Sunday morning, so we'll be 6 hours ahead of SA instead of 7. Or GMT +8 hrs .... Just so you know!

Have wors, will travel

Home from home. It's Friday evening. The Super 14 rugby is on the box and the boerie is on the braai. No change there then!

(The braai runs on gas and the boerie is R70 per kg, but never mind!)

How Big is Baby?

Weeks 37-Delivery (Month 9): Watermelon

At week 37, your pregnancy is considered full term, meaning baby is likely to thrive after birth. Baby spends these last weeks in preparation for the outside world… meaning careful refinement of the blink, suck, inhale and exhale. Meconium, which you’ll probably find in the first diaper, is accumulating in the intestines. If you worry about giving birth, consider what it’s like for the little one. During the journey out of your womb, baby will produce more stress hormones than any other time in life.

Untitled.....

Happy Easter

Waiting for Cameron

Hello folks,

Still here. Posting some random pictures for you while we wait for the big day. Since I last posted Brian has settled into his new job and me, well, I'm still growing by the day.

We've been gathering the necessary equipment for our little chap.

See dad trying out the "breastfeeding chair".

One of the "nursery". Very unfinished, Granny Binky bringing the curtains from the land of the Rand...and container still bobbing across the ocean.

Dad assembling the obligatory swing/rocker thing.

Can you believe how small newborn nappies are?? Yes, yes, I know newborn bums are small. But THIS small?

Fido is also waiting for Cameron.

And the bump keeps growing...

My Fave!!

Old UK Ad

Princess Katie

Here she is...the latest addition to the clan of girls. A little cutie!!
Welcome Kate Isabella. We've been dying for you to arrive.

Excerpts from: NAPPYGATE

Antenatal Classes

What we liked about the antenatal class:
We didn't have to stand up and talk about ourselves (could just stay seated, which was lucky for those of us who had undone our belt.)

We didn't have to act out any birthing positions, whilst beaming lovingly at each other.

We got snacks.

We got a bag of freebies.

Our wife explained some of the terms she thought our husband may not have understood, with sound effects (think of a ripping sound...)

Our husband was OVERJOYED he wasn't the dude chosen to lie on the bed in the Birthing Suite being moulded into various contorted positions by the very bossy midwife...knees around earlobes etc...

There's a bar fridge in the private room.

What we disliked about the antenatal class:
We didn't get to see the DVD of natural labour coz we ran out of time. DAMN!

Will have to wait 'til next time!!

Our Latest Princess

Caesarean section

Oh for Osmosis. Will have to do with E for Elective.

Would you take your bottom lip and pull it over your head? Would you take a chicken drumstick and pull it through your nostril? Nah. Thought not. Me neither. Personal choice. Don't sue me.

The Ancient Roman c-section was first performed to remove a baby from the womb of a mother who died during childbirth. Not on Caesar's mother, tho' apparently. In 1316 the future Robert II of Scotland was delivered by caesarean section. So, you see, they've known how to do it for a long time but the tricky part was keeping the mothers alive in the process.

But, hurrah, hurrah, for modern medicine.

Oh, good Lord someone did a caesarean on herself. Now that's not necessary. Altho' it was apparently coz the nearest midwife was 50 miles away in rural Mexico and her husband the bastard was drinking at the cantina at the time.

She also downed a few before performing the procedure which strikes me as a bloody good idea. Please don't try that it home tho', coz apparently she's the only known person to have survived doing such a thing.

Nothing to do with labour makes for good reading in my view. It all starts off well and informative but then percentage mortality rates start being thrown around and one is forced to move on and avert ones eyes, really.

You too, dear. Don't be looking over the curtain.

Hopefully one goes home with shittruckloads of high schedule painkillers.

Fistfuls.

Not the best Ad, but I do love Tom

It's all too much really

I'm sorry. I'll stop now. But there are clearly some people with more time on their hands than me out there. And waaaaaaaaaay more disturbed.

http://www.malepregnancy.com/

Your Daily Ad

If you're bored...

...go feed Paris here

Show and Tell

Seeing as we still need to attend ante natal classes, I have joined the local library and taken out some suitable reading material like "The Essential Guide for First-time Parents" , "Birth and Beyond" and "Complete baby & childcare". I mean, when we got Jessie we bought a book on how to raise a puppy!!

I took care to get one with lots of pictures for our first-time father. Pictures not disimiliar to those below. (Note the cheerful dad in the picture, whistling away to himself as he goes about his chores...)

Helpful when in a rush I suppose. Like the laminated card you used to get on the airplane to follow when your plane was nose-diving over the ocean. Now they just show you a witty cartoon and expect you to retain it.

I wonder if Cameron could do with some tips for the Big Day?

33 weeks

How big is Baby? So big, apparently:

Or, as seen from another angle, about SO big:



Disclaimer: Neither the Pineapple nor the Belly plus feet belong to me (Stock Images!)

You Couldn't Make This Up...

"The Empathy Belly"®
Pregnancy Simulator Teaching Module

"The Empathy Belly"® Pregnancy Simulator lets you know what it feels like to be pregnant! It is a multi-component, weighted "garment" that will -- through medically accurate simulation -- enable men, women, teenage girls and boys to experience over 20 symptoms and effects of pregnancy, including:

• Weight gain of 30 pounds (13.6 kg.)



• Fetal kicking and stroking movements



• Shallow breathing and shortness of breath



• Increased blood pressure, pulse and body temperature



• Bladder pressure and frequency of urination



• Low backaches; shift in center of gravity; waddling



• Fatigue, irritability, and much, much more!

Should we get one for Brian??? Yes, yes, yes. Who wants to see him waddle? You KNOW you do!!

(I'm not sure how they would simulate my irritability, but never mind. Maybe I should patent it.)

Quick. It's marked down to half-price. Get yours today!!